I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
