I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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