I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also, beer. Big fan.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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