The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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