Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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