K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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