Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The feeling are messing with the penis
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
