i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
