I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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