community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I wear drunk well.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
