I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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