my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
