get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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