whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
