there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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