I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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