I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize