man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
