The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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