Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
