ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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