Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
