i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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