If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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