Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
