I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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