He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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