I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
