This girl is more easily done than said...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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