there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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