you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
