Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
