They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
