So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize