I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He felt like a one man threesome
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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