I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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