I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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