false alarm. still invincible.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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