Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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