No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
