I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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