I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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