Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
