I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The feeling are messing with the penis
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Text me some of your sweat
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