yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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