Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
