Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
