batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So squirting runs in the family.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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