Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
