she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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