Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
