i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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