Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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