she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
