OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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