He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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