But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
