Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize