Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
