so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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