he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
