Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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