why didn't you poke me back
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My life is pants optional.
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