brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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