White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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