pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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