Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
