Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If that was your dad, he is hot
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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