Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
