Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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