dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
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