Ketchup is God's man juice
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize