'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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